This book speaks to the adults who deal with children of divorce--parents, therapists, attorneys, and judges--and gets them all on the same page. The authors believe that parents and professionals should be able to communicate with a common language regarding the children of divorce. This book contains much specific advice on how to achieve basic goals: children should have a good relationship with both parents; divorced parents should find ways to make life as normal as possible for their children; and divorced parents and their children should accept the inevitable losses and disappointments and move on with their lives. Children of Divorce is organized around the use of parenting plans, agreements that are developed through the collaboration of the parents rather than imposed by a judge.
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An invaluable compilation of wisdom
Review Date: February 3, 2008
Reviewer: Midwest Book Review, Oregon, WI USA
Now in an updated second edition, Children of Divorce: A Practical Guide for Parents, Therapists, Attorneys, and Judges is a no-nonsense, straightforward discussion of what truly constitute's a child's best interests. Written by child and adolescent psychiatrist William Bernet as well as lawyer Don R. Ash (who personally researched the effectiveness of parenting plans for children of divorce), Children of Divorce takes a practical, no-nonsense approach to common dilemmas, while remaining acutely aware that there is no absolute "one size fits all" rule for determining custody in every possible situation. Chapters discuss the harmful effects that fighting can have upon children - stressing that fighting in front of, through, or over the children is frequently the worst possible thing divorcing parents can do - common and uncommon parenting arrangements, the importance of balancing the needs of parents and children (especially when divorced parents divide up a child's schedule to serve their own needs, rather than the child's), the challenges that stepfamilies and blended families face, dealing with holidays, the role of grandparents, what to expect in divorce mediation versus divorce counseling (which are two emphatically different things), and much more. "Although it looks superficially like the child's therapist is the perfect person to testify in a custody dispute, he really is not a good choice. For one thing, the therapist is almost certainly biased in favor of the custodial parent, even though he may try very hard to be neutral... Furthermore, there are risks involved in testifying. For instance, the confidential nature of the therapy will almost certainly be violated if the therapist testifies." Written in plain terms accessible to parents as well as legal and counseling professionals, Children of Divorce cannot be recommended highly enough as an invaluable compilation of wisdom garnered through years of experience.
MUST READ for recently divorced parents
Review Date: October 4, 2007
Reviewer: Ed Orgeron, USA
The CHILDREN are the true victims in a divorce but it is important to move on and this book illustrates that. A MUST READ for a recently divorced parent!
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An invaluable compilation of wisdom